Let’s talk confidence
Confidence is a belief in oneself, the conviction that one has the ability to meet life's challenges and to succeed—and the willingness to act accordingly. Being confident requires a realistic sense of one's capabilities and feeling secure in that knowledge.
This may sound silly but whenever I’m feeling insecure or down, I get in my car, queue my favorite playlist, and put my bad a$$ sunglasses on because they make me feel confident, even though this isn’t the reality of how I actually feel. In this glimpse of a moment, these glasses make me feel powerful and in control of my emotions and self. Sometimes you got to “fake it till you make it.” Something that my therapist has told me to think about is this: Do you seriously think every person who appears confident truthfully feels confident in the inside? Being confident doesn’t necessarily mean you have to be a cocky or arrogant person. Confidence comes from believing in yourself and your self-worth.
I still would not consider myself a confident person. This is something I’ve struggled with forever. It sucks because my self-doubt gets in the way of things I want to do, accomplish and be apart of. I’ve always compared myself to others.
. The key question is: how do you overcome that fear and gain confidence? The simple answer is by working on your self-confidence and self-esteem, but thats definitely easier said than done.
You can do this by taking control of your life, and taking control of your self-confidence. By taking concrete actions that improve your competence, your self-image, you can increase that self-confidence, without the help of anyone else.
After scouring the internet for tips on gaining self-confidence, I have grouped my favorite 15 techniques to help boost your confidence:
15 tips to help boost your self confidence
“So many successful people credit their sense of self and their confidence to their success. But not many people really explain how to build confidence, or how to become confident. It's tricky, because confidence is built on different things, but overall it is built on choices and accomplishments that feed your passion, and that make you feel happy and proud of who you are. Discovering these things is one of the most worthwhile pursuits of you life.”
1. Get Things Done
Confidence is built on accomplishment. If you achieve small and big goals, you're going to feel much better about yourself. It begins with your day-to-day goals, what do you need to accomplish today, and every day this week or three days this week to help meet your goal? Keep in mind that progress is incremental, and big changes do not happen overnight. Set a goal for yourself, and go for it.
Want to check out some to-do lists to help you organize your thoughts and tasks? Click here
2. Empower yourself with knowledge
Empowering yourself is one of the best strategies for building self-confidence. You can do that in many ways, but one of the surest ways to empower yourself is through knowledge. This is along the same vein as building competence and getting prepared … by becoming more knowledgeable, you’ll be more confident … and you become more knowledgeable by doing research and studying. The Internet is a great tool, of course, but so are the people around you, people who have done what you want, books, magazines, and educational institutions.
Want to learn how to become mentally stronger? Click here
3. Get to know yourself.
When going into battle, the wisest general learns to know his enemy very, very well. You can’t defeat the enemy without knowing him. And when you’re trying to overcome a negative self-image and replace it with self-confidence, your enemy is yourself. Get to know yourself well. Start listening to your thoughts. Dig deep within yourself, and you’ll come out (eventually) with even greater self-confidence.
Want to learn more about yourself, let’s talk self-love, care, and awareness? Click here
Know yourself and you will win all battles. – Sun Tzu
4. Exercise
Besides benefitting your health in general, exercising helps memory retention, improves focus, helps manage stress and prevents depression. It's harder to be anxious when there is no excess energy to draw upon, and outside of being difficult uncomfortable at times, exercise improves every aspect of your life. So stay active, and create time to take care of yourself.
5. Positivity
Adding positivity into your life is one of the best ways to feel empowered and confident. More than just thinking positive and changing your mindset, you have to put it into action. Action, actually, is the key to developing self-confidence. It’s one thing to learn to think positive, but when you start acting on it, you change yourself, one action at a time. You are what you do, and so if you change what you do, you change what you are. Act in a positive way, take action instead of telling yourself you can’t, be positive. Talk to people in a positive way, put energy into your actions. You’ll soon start to notice a difference. PS: Don’t forget to smile!!!!!!!
6. Embrace your self-image.
Our self-image means so much to us, more than we often realize. We have a mental picture of ourselves, and it determines how confident we are in ourselves. But this picture isn’t fixed and immutable. You can change it. If it’s not a very good one, change it. Figure out why you see yourself that way, and find a way to fix it. You are beautiful the way you are. Fall in love with yourself. Want to learn more about self-love, care, and awareness? Click here
7. Clear your desk.
This might seem like a small, simple thing (then again, for some of you it might not be so small). But it has always worked wonders for me. If my desk starts to get messy, and the world around me is in chaos, clearing off my desk is my way of getting a little piece of my life under control. It is the calm in the center of the storm around me.
Want to learn more about organization and the benefits of cleansing your space? Click here
8. Kill negative thoughts.
You have to learn to be aware of your self-talk, the thoughts you have about yourself and what you’re doing. Talking to yourself in a negative ay only makes you feel worse about yourself. Me your own hype up person. Whenever you start to notice negative thoughts, put them in a “mental trash can,” throw them out, then replace it with a positive one.
9. Be kind and generous.
Being kind to others and being generous with yourself and your time and what you have is a tremendous way to improve your self-image. Volunteering is a great way to help others while also helping yourself. Small acts of kindness are a great way to start.
Want to learn more about gratitude & gratitude journals? Click here
10. Be Fearless
Failing isn't your enemy, it's fearing failure that truly cripples you. If you set big goals and have big dreams, you're going to feel overwhelmed, and you're inevitably going to feel like you can't do it. In those moments you have to look inside yourself, and gather every ounce of courage you have and just keep going. Every single wildly successful person has been afraid, and they've kept working and taking risks anyway, because what they are trying to accomplish is more important and urgent than their fear they will fail. Think about how much you want to achieve your goal, then put your fear to the side, and keep going, one day at a time.
11. Stand-up For Yourself
Logically you think, "How can I be right when this person and all these doubts in my head are telling me I can't do this? That this idea is stupid." And you have to tell those people, especially the voices in your head, that they're wrong. You have it in you, so tell them you believe in your goal, you believe in yourself, so you're going to accomplish it. "Don't let anyone, ever make you feel like you don't deserve what you want."
12. Follow Through
People respect people when they say they're going to do something and they do it. More importantly, you will respect yourself if you say you're going to do something and you do it, and belief in yourself will come easier, because you know you are not afraid of the work. Action gives your words meaning, and it will help you pave a path to accomplishing your goals, strengthening your relationships and feeling proud of who you are.
13. Think Long-term
The foundation of unhappiness is decisions made for short-term comfort that impede long-term goals. Big goals require big sacrifices, you have to dig deep and really discipline yourself. In the moment it is tedious and frustrating and makes life significantly harder, but it will pay off, and the pride you feel will be worth it. You have to decide if your short-term comfort is more important than your long-term goals, but know that long-term goals will bring you far more happiness in the long run than your short-term comfort.
14. Don't Care What Others Think
There are going to be so many people who will tell you you can not accomplish your goal. Whether is it rejection from employers, schools, or just negative feedback from friends or family, people will try to tell you your goal is too big, or that you're not ready, or that you can't do it, that it's never been done before, etc., and you absolutely can not listen to them. You must be resolute. While they tell you the odds are against you, etc., just remember most people are wrong about most things. People change the world every day, despite everyone around them telling them it can't be done. If you think you can do it, you can it. Don't listen to them, believe in yourself and keep going.
15. Do More Of What Makes You Happy
What do you love to do in your spare time? Is it to get outside, hike, kayak and enjoy the outdoors? Or do you live for lying on your couch and watching all the excellent television that's available? Whatever it is you love, create space for it, because life is short- you need time to enrich your life and to recharge to be your best self.
Want to learn more about creating a happy and calm environment for yourself? Click here
Believe me, I am no expert on confidence. I'm still working at gaining self-confidence everyday. It’s hard, but the results can be life changing.
