7 rules of life
Let it Go.
Never ruin a good day by thinking about a bad day. We all keep past versions of ourselves in a closet somewhere safe, and every time we open it, we feel pain and suffering and relive the trauma. We can’t change the people we once were or the things our past selves have experienced, but we can make peace with them. Open the closet and let in some light. Reconcile. Otherwise, our past will forever be a drag on our heels and a heavy burden forever.
The past can affect your present in unhelpful ways. An important aspect of mental health is continuously looking ahead to a bright future full of opportunities. The past is unchangeable. As you keep moving forward each day, you must intentionally move beyond the past. Here are some important components of that journey:
Forgive other people for offenses or past mistakes.
Forgive yourself for missteps.
Let painful memories fade by choosing different thoughts.
Accept what has happened in your life.
Make fresh commitments each day.
Ignore Them.
Don't listen to what other people think of you. Live a life that is empowering to you. Most of our scars come from wounds inflicted by other people. Words can hurt us more than weapons. But it’s not your job to imagine what arrows people might point at you inside their heads. The majority will never fire.
You can never know another person's thoughts. Don't fall into the trap of always worrying how others will react. Instead, be true to yourself, so you can attract the kind of people who truly belong in your life. Do what makes you happy and the right people will stick around. Then, offer others the same courtesy.
Give it Time.
Give it some time, time heals all. Sometimes, you can’t find the power to move on immediately. Sometimes, you really want to kick yourself. That too is part of life. What you can do is allow time to pass.
I know you want to just fix everything and move on, but if you stitch a wound poorly, it’ll get worse down the road. So take time. Take care of yourself. Your health. Your broken heart and broken parts.
Sometimes, even what heals leaves a scar. Those will be with us forever. The least we can do is let them mend properly.
Often, you just need to let things sit. Life may seem difficult right now, but by following rule #1 and not dwelling on the past, you can move forward to find happiness. Acknowledge your suffering, but don't let it take over. When you don't know the right answer or the right thing to do, you can pay attention to what makes you feel better and what makes you feel worse.
Don’t Compare.
Don't compare yourself; the only person you should try to beat is the person you were yesterday. Comparison is the thief of joy. Measuring your worth or wellbeing against other people is a useless activity that ends in despair. Every day is an opportunity to celebrate who you are and what you have. Choosing contentment and focusing on the good in your life are powerful ways to overcome habits of comparison.
Stay Calm.
Stay calm and know that its okay to not have everything figured out. It's important that you feel empowered to dwell on the right ideas. Rehearsing negative interactions, revisiting the past in your mind, and repeating negative ideas are all unhelpful behaviors. Learning to change your thoughts is an important tool. Hone it, and practice whenever you're struggling with unhelpful thoughts. First of all, overthinking in any situation comes to no good. You know those pesky voices in your head that may be whispering negative things that are completely unhelpful? Yep, those. Letting go of too many thoughts and letting the chips fall into place, will allow you to remain calm and stress-free. Also, It can be easy to get emotional in certain situations. But emotions can cloud your judgement and can cause you to make an irrational decision. Therefore, if you feel yourself getting emotional, just check out and remove yourself and go back to making the decision once you have calmed down.
It’s on You.
You are in charge of your happiness and how your life turns out. Don’t give other people the power to control your happiness.
10 ways to stop giving people power over you:
Establish healthy boundaries
Say no, speak up, and ask for what you need. When people violate your boundaries, follow through with clear consequences.
Take responsibility for your emotions
Don't blame anyone else for making you feel guilty or making you feel bad about yourself. Take full responsibility for how you feel. If someone is affecting your emotions in an unhelpful manner, take positive action.
Let other people be responsible for their emotions
On another note, don't take on responsibility for other people's emotions. You can't make everyone happy, and you can't make anyone mad. While it's important to be cognizant of how your actions affect others, it's not up to you to manage how other people feel.
Acknowledge your choices
When you find yourself thinking you have to do something, change your language. You don't have to do everything.
Live according to your values
You'll care less about going along with the crowd, and you'll be less concerned about other people's opinions when you're clear on your values. Identify the things that are most important to you, and live accordingly.
Forgive, and move forward
Holding onto a grudge diminishes your life, not anyone else's. Don't waste your precious time and energy rehashing your past hurts and trying to punish someone else.
Stop trying to prove people wrong
You might feel empowered for a little while when you say, "I'll show them!" But trying to prove people wrong actually gives them power over you.
Don't let your self-worth depend on other people's opinions
If you need approval or affirmation from others that you're good enough, those individuals will always have power over you. Don't make your self-worth dependent on anyone else.
Don't waste energy complaining
The more time you spend complaining about people, the more space you allow them to occupy in your life.
Stop thinking about unhelpful interactions with others
Rehashing conversations and imagining dreadful interactions allows people to take up more of your brain power. While you certainly want to learn from mistakes and plan for the future, don't ruminate on the hurtful things someone already said or the rude comments they might make in the future.
7. Smile, or don’t.
Life is short. Enjoy it while you have it. This may seem a bit contrary, but you don't have to force yourself to be happy all of the time. Absolutely allow yourself to feel your emotions as they are. Happiness is not about burying your feelings. It's about acknowledging them and giving them their appropriate place. Find a balance by not dwelling on problems. Instead, look at them objectively to take away their power and step toward happiness. Smile & cherish the happy moments. Be good and kind to yourself and others. Spread positivity whenever you can.
